A few quotes...

So, I've been tyring to explore why I've been feeling so depressed lately, and ended up putting all my thoughts and feeling into quotes; hope you like them!

I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside...

I didn't know one blade could destroy my life...

When I pull my blade out my box, and stare at it in my palm, I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know it's just going to make me feel worse afterwards, and then my friends are going to worry, and then I'll just have to start hiding all over again. But a voice inside my head tells me that will never happen, cause inside I want to die; I'm just too afraid of not living...

Sometimes I crave it so much, I plan it all in my head; in the light or dark, how many and where, what music I'll listen to, but in the end it never works; I fall apart and hate myself for even planning it, and then my body becomes a mess, just like everything in my head...

You never really know when you're happy until you end up feeling miserable again; it's just a lot more difficult to be happy than it is to feel like every day is torture...

On the outside everything looks fine, even to me, but something's there that's ruining it all and I can never seem to find it. As much as I'll refuse to believe it, one day, I'll find out that that thing is me...

Sometimes I laugh so much I cry. I use these reasons as an excuse to cover up my real reasons for tears...

At times, when I have nothing to do, I cut myself. I'm not always sad when I do it, but sometimes it just reassures me that I'm still alive...

I only write quotes to distract myself from cutting. I know I shouldn't, and I hate myself for even considering it, but in a way, these quotes are making me want to cut even more...I like it...

Sometimes, it's inflicting pain on one's self that can make you feel happy...

Music has kept me alive; it's given me a reason to live, and it's helped me get through a lot. Sometimes it makes me hurt myself, but that's only because it helps me feel emotions I thought I had lost...

Sometimes, when I listen to songs with depressing lyrics about pain and wanting to die, I think to myself, if they felt that bad, how could they have even managed to write a song about it?

In my head I know that not all song lyrics were written when the writed was actually feeling the way the song describes, and that scared me, cause I can relate to them perfectly, and they were just faking it...

In a way, I quite enjoy my depression; it makes me feel special...

Sometimes, writing quotes do make me feel better, and I don't want that; I want to hurt myself, so I continue writing until I feel ten times worse...

Sometimes, I wonder how I could ever feel sad, cause a lot of things make me feel really happy, but then I remember; happiness is only temporary; pain can last forever...

Sometimes, Microsoft Word doesn't like the way I word things; kind of like society really; they like to make you think everything you do is wrong, even if for you, it's just the way it is...

I like to think; it stops me doing things to myself that I shouldn't. The only problem is, is that I think too much, and too deep for my own good. That just makes me do things to myself that I shouldn't...

Sometimes I worry that all the therapy will eventually work, and that I'll never be depressed  again. I worry about this because I'm afraid of what will be left of me afterwards...if there'll be anything left at all...

At times, I just want the voices in my head to stop arguing; to have it all over and done with, so I cut myself to make it stop...

It's always the people you're closest to who judge you the most; I hate every second of it...

I hate it when I get to the point of being so annoyed with someone that I can't even stand being in the same building as them...they're always the closest people to me too...

You always think you'll be able to talk to the people closest to you about anything, but it's not like that at all; you have to hide constantly, and always act like you're okay; it kills me every day...

Thanks for reading! :)